as i look back at the last year, i feel like 28 was my year.
a lot has changed for me in the last year and i made a lot of changes. changes for the better.
to give some history, i feel like i need to back up a little further, before i got pregnant, i need to give a little background. because honestly, a year ago i was pregnant and it was awesome but that's not where my story begins.
so lets rewind a little bit.
before i got pregnant, i don't feel like i was in the best place. i had pretty low self esteem, horrible body image, and i didn't feel like my best self. i wasn't happy with who i saw in the mirror and i also wasn't honest with myself about what exactly it was i saw. i compared myself to everyone that passed me by and i never felt like i was good enough. the source of these feelings were due to my weight gain over the last 6-7 years. i can honestly say i let myself go and it got pretty bad when i was in art school. i had become...do i dare say it....frumpy. sweatpants and old t-shirts were my wardrobe. i wore sizes that were to big, most my clothes were dark or neutral colors and my converse had become my shoe of choice. i hated shopping because nothing fit and i didn't feel like anything looked good. in the words of joey, i dressed like a 14 year old, un-sponsered skater boy and it was true! i was an emotional eater as well as a stress eater. i turned to food and found every excuse i could to eat crap and not be active. i used my sense of humor to cope. i made fun of myself even though i was miserable on the inside...i hid behind jokes. and then....(this is where this sad story turns around, this is supposed to be an uplifting post, i promise!)
|looking excited because i'm about to eat food...|
|pregnant and loving it!|
|8 months and moving...not recommended|
so i did, i made a huge change. i completely changed my lifestyle, how i ate, even how i viewed food, which was one of the biggest things i needed to change. it's no longer a reward or source of comfort. it's no longer my go-to when i'm stressed or feeling upset. food is food and depending on how you use it, it can either sustain you or poison you. so i stopped poisoning my body. i cut a lot of stuff out and i started eating more veggies, less processed food, less sugar and no soda. i also started running. i love seeing how far my body can go and what it can do. i love being able to go a little further every time i go running. running has been my go-to instead of food. running has become my therapy. i ran my first 5k and am signing up for my first 15k at the begining of march. my goal is to be at my wedding weight by the time milly turns one. as of right now i only have about 13 pounds to go and i feel great. i feel like i can't explain how much i love running, something i never thought i would say. seeing the pounds shed off is amazing, i'm becoming so competitive with myself and i love it. i've started to enjoy shopping again and have had to get rid of half my closet. it's the best feeling in the world.
*i feel like i need to add a note here and let you know that i do indulge every once in a while. the difference now: a treat is a treat, not an everyday occurrence, excuse, vice, etc.
i am a strong woman and i can do anything. bring it on 29, i welcome you with open arms!
|the reason why i do it....love her!|