Built on the Rock

my time as assistant stage manager for built on the rock is coming to a close. this is the production that the youth of my church are putting on and it's all happening this weekend! i'm so grateful to have had the opportunity to not only work with the youth, but also get to know people i go to church with every sunday and never took the time to introduce myself or say hello. what a blessing this opportunity has been for me. it's taken up a lot of time away from family and it's been really stressful at times but it's also been sooo very worth it. i look forward to having my nights back but i'm also very grateful to have been able to be a part of this wonderful production.

^ this is during saturday's dress rehearsal at the church,

the actual performance will be at skyline high school, see below for details.

The youth of the Redmond Washington Stake of 

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints presents

BUILT ON THE ROCK: A BOOK OF MORMON JOURNEY

A production that showcases the talents of our local youth and presents our testimony of the Savior, Jesus Christ

Showtimes

Friday, May 9th at 7:00pm

Saturday, May 10th at 11:00* am, 4:00pm, and 7:00 pm

* Special Children's Matinee - Characters from the show will interact with children after the 11:00 am performance!

Skyline High School

1122 228th Ave SE, Sammamish 98075

Approximately 500 tickets per show will be available at the door beginning one hour before curtain. If tickets run out, guests who are waiting in line will be issued tickets for the next available show.

21 days without sugar!

after easter and after all our family had left, when we had our place back to ourselves i wanted to do a 21 day sugar cleanse and joey was totally on board. him being the competitive one, he thought there should be some sort of prize if we could actually make it 21 days and we added running to the challenge. we're using the word 'cleanse' very loosely here! we haven't cut out all sugar, we still eat fruits and have lemonade on occasion but we have cut out the obvious sweets and processed sugar. we were letting way too much sugar in the door and i hated that i wasn't being as strict with myself with what i indulged in. we would get the worst cravings after dinner and just eat whatever was in the house, make brownies, have ice cream splits and sundaes. it was getting pretty bad! se we decided to cut out all the candy and cookies, ice cream and chocolate. today we are on day eight and i'm still having cravings! i'm proud that i've been able to say no for the past eight days, which i know isn't a very long and i'm hoping this 'cleanse' will help me stay focused about eating healthy. we're both hoping to be a little choosier about the sweets we do have, to indulge only when it's really worth it and not because a twix or snickers sounds really good at the moment and is laying around the house. ;)

the official 'rules' of the cleanse are as follow: no sweets (candy, baked good, ice cream, soda, donuts, etc.) and we each have to run a total of 14 miles that we've split up over the 21 days. if one of us doesn't run their miles the other person will get a cash prize to spend as selfishly as they want. if we both succeed and don't eat sugar and run our miles, we'll treat ourselves out to dinner, somewhere new...no chipotle, haha!

*the picture above is from milly's brithday...i thought it appropriate for this post :)

i know, i know...

...i haven't been the best at updating the blog recently and i apologize to all two of you?! haha! ;) i can't really say it's because "life's gotten so busy" or "i have so much on my plate right now" but i can say it's partly due to laziness but mostly due to nothings going on.... the days are just barely starting to get warm and i'm loving the fact that the sun stays up past five. we don't have a lot planned for this summer but we do want to get a camping trip in there somewhere (we say that every year and have yet to go) as well as a trip on the oregon coast. thanks to my very good friend ashley posting her adventures this week on facebook and instagram, oregon looks too good to pass up and i don't think i've ever been, so might as well make a trip out of it... plus i really want to see milly on a beach, playing/eating the sand with her chunky little thighs and probably the cutest bathing suit and sun hat i can find for her! in the meantime we have company for the next week and a half, so i'll be sure to have lots of things to post in the near future. justin and his girlfriend are visiting from idaho and my family will be here for easter! exciting stuff, i think we're actually gonna head out and go eat some yummy food while being tourists in our own town! ie: get some paseos and pictures by the troll! gotta love seattle! below are some pictures from our life lately; something to hold you over till next time!

 ^ momma/daughter selfies!!!

^ on the left: she does this when she eats...don't have any idea what she's doing.

right: on a walk with dad, putting flowers in her hair.

hellllloooooooooo april

hello april, so far you've been great! nice and sunny, lets try to keep it that way, can we? please? but seriously.....please?! i think i'm ready for summer and warmer weather and longer days that turn into nights. i'm over the rain and i know i probably shouldn't complain, i should just get over it considering where i choose to live. i usually don't mind the rain and "hot chocolate" weather (as i like to call it) but i'm extra excited for warmer weather. i want to be able to let milly explore the world around her without her getting completely soaked in the process. unless of course it's due to a splash pad or pool and we're in bathing suits....then by all means, dive right in! anyways....the picture below has absolutely nothing to do with this post, i just really like it.

^ this cuddle session lasted all of 30 seconds..... i'll take what i can get.

so it's april, we're already in month four of this year. i still can't believe it's april of 2014 and i have a one year old! life is good. this year: so far, so good. i'm doing ok with my personal goals for the year. i am way ahead on my reading goal and have averaged about two and half to three books a month. that's almost double my original goal. having a library due date really gets ya reading. you can't have late library books, that's 10 cents a day! 10 cents people! i will admit, i owe the library 30 cent's soooo...there's that, it's good to get that off my chest, phew! as far as my other goals, weeeeeeellllll. i'm having a hard time being 'good' about eating. i just finished a bowl of warm brownie with caramel sauce and ice cream, and it's not the first time that's happened this week. i really need to get back on track. i've hit a plateau in my weight loss and it's been a little discouraging. they aren't kidding when they say the last ten pounds are the hardest to loose. i'm thinking of taking up kick boxing or something. i need to switch it up because i'm at a stand still with running. crazy as it is, and i never thought i'd say this, but i think the ole bod is use to running and needs a change to kick back in gear. also, i need to stop eating warm brownies with ice cream..... that might help :)  and that brings us to my last goal: learning to crotchet. i've decided to put that on hold, at least until this summer. i just don't have the time or energy right now to learn something new and put the effort into it that it deserves as well as make me happy. 

in other news: i've recently been asked to help with a theatre production the youth of our church perform in the area and it's taking up most my spare time/nights. it's gonna be so good, the talent these kids have is unreal. i haven't really done anything with theatre since my freshman year of college unless you count being a spectator. i've been asked to be the assistant back stage manager and although it's taking up a lot of my time, it's well worth it and i love it. it's also a fun complement when people aren't sure if you're an adult or youth ;) i've had some kids ask to see my ID because they didn't believe me when i said i was 29 and had a one year old. (lets be honest, i still have a hard time believing the one year old part too....)

lastly, i've been working on a series of posters that i'm hoping to sell on etsy. i'd like to have a 'shop' opened in the next month with a handful of posters i've created and see where that goes. i'd love to just design posters for the rest of my life, so we'll see! i'm pretty excited about it and will share more when the time comes. 

so yea, lets see what april has in store.

 in the mean time, here's some pictures of the one person i give most my time too. 

life is goooooooood!

^ sharing a dilly bar with dad.....

^can't get over those legs!

^ exploring...

^ more exploring, with dad.... love her to pieces!!!

the one and only cheerio!

^ at first it started out simple enough, just havin' a snack with mom...

^ "oh, i'll help myself, thank you...."

^ and then things got a little crazy....

^ and then she was like "i'm out!!!"

bath time

while katrina was here she captured some photos of bath time. something we do every night and sometimes it seems like such a chore when milly's fussy or tired and i'm exhausted but i'm so glad she captured this sometimes mundane task. it helps remind me to take a step back and enjoy the little things, it helps me remember that before i know it, milly won't need my help during bath time (she's already outgrown her little bathtub we put in the sink) and i need to enjoy it while she's still little. we now take baths in the 'big girl' tub and she's constantly on the go, crawling from one end to the other and up the sides, chewing on toys and exploring the faucet. i always say it: she's growing up too fast, so a big thank you to katrina for capturing my everyday with little miss milly!

29 and feeling fine

today i turn 29.
as i look back at the last year, i feel like 28 was my year.
a lot has changed for me in the last year and i made a lot of changes. changes for the better.
to give some history, i feel like i need to back up a little further, before i got pregnant, i need to give a little background.  because honestly, a year ago i was pregnant and it was awesome but that's not where my story begins.

so lets rewind a little bit.
before i got pregnant, i don't feel like i was in the best place. i had pretty low self esteem, horrible body image, and i didn't feel like my best self.  i wasn't happy with who i saw in the mirror and i also wasn't honest with myself about what exactly it was i saw. i compared myself to everyone that passed me by and i never felt like i was good enough. the source of these feelings were due to my weight gain over the last 6-7 years. i can honestly say i let myself go and it got pretty bad when i was in art school. i had become...do i dare say it....frumpy. sweatpants and old t-shirts were my wardrobe. i wore sizes that were to big, most my clothes were dark or neutral colors and my converse had become my shoe of choice. i hated shopping because nothing fit and i didn't feel like anything looked good. in the words of joey, i dressed like a 14 year old, un-sponsered skater boy and it was true! i was an emotional eater as well as a stress eater. i turned to food and found every excuse i could to eat crap and not be active.  i used my sense of humor to cope. i made fun of myself even though i was miserable on the inside...i hid behind jokes. and then....(this is where this sad story turns around, this is supposed to be an uplifting post, i promise!)

looking excited because i'm about to eat food...

then i found out i was pregnant. for the first time i was so excited and proud of what my body was cabable of. i loved watching my belly (and other parts, if we're going to be honest) grow every week. it was so amazing watching my body change and realize why it was changing. my body was building a human and it was one of the most awesome things i've ever been a part of. i look at milly and am so thankful that my body helped build a healthy, happy baby. i grew an immense sense of pride and respect for my body. i realized how much i had abused my body yet it could still do amazing things. that's when i realized i needed to make a change, something inside clicked and i found the reasons and importance in turning my unhealthy lifestyle around.

pregnant and loving it!

8 months and moving...not recommended 

before i gave birth i knew i was gonna make this said change as soon as i received the ok from my doctor after milly was born. my labor and delivery was tough, i won't go into detail here on the blog because it was a very personal experience. i look at my birth story as one of the most sacred things i've ever experienced. that's the closest to heaven i'll ever be while on this earth, and i don't look at that experience lightly. i'm very guarded when it comes to my birth story and photos of my little family in the hospital for those reasons. i feel like i can be a pretty private person and when i met my little girl for the first time, there was no exception. it was so personal and something that i hold very close to my heart. with that being said, i once again experienced an "ah-ha" moment about what my body could come back from. not only could it 'build' a human but it could also give birth and sustain this little life.

so after having milly, i felt this huge sense of responsibility, not just as her mother and parent but also as a positive role model in her life. i know there's a lot of pressure on young girls and their body image. i also know i have a couple years before she starts picking up on that type of stuff but i have to start being a good example now if i want to be one later. not only that, but i wanted to be able to do things with my daughter, whether it be practicing sports with her, riding bikes, going on hikes, dancing, running, and the list goes on. i want to be able to do all these things and show her how awesome our bodies are. i want her to see what her body can do, i want it to be something positive in her life, not something that she feels the need to be negative about because it doesn't fit society or the media's standard. i want her to hear me talk positively about my own body and i believe the best way to do that is to be a good example and show her. so i made a change. i will say that i've made these changes for my own happiness but milly was a huge driving force. i know that if i didn't make the change for myself then there never would have been one, which that was one of my biggest hurdles i had to get over. i had to want the change bad enough to actually do something. i had to put my money where my mouth was, so to speak.

so i did, i made a huge change. i completely changed my lifestyle, how i ate, even how i viewed food, which was one of the biggest things i needed to change. it's no longer a reward or source of comfort. it's no longer my go-to when i'm stressed or feeling upset. food is food and depending on how you use it, it can either sustain you or poison you. so i stopped poisoning my body. i cut a lot of stuff out and i started eating more veggies, less processed food, less sugar and no soda. i also started running. i love seeing how far my body can go and what it can do. i love being able to go a little further every time i go running. running has been my go-to instead of food. running has become my therapy. i ran my first 5k and am signing up for my first 15k at the begining of march. my goal is to be at my wedding weight by the time milly turns one. as of right now i only have about 13 pounds to go and i feel great. i feel like i can't explain how much i love running, something i never thought i would say. seeing the pounds shed off is amazing, i'm becoming so competitive with myself and i love it. i've started to enjoy shopping again and have had to get rid of half my closet. it's the best feeling in the world.
*i feel like i need to add a note here and let you know that i do indulge every once in a while. the difference now: a treat is a treat, not an everyday occurrence, excuse, vice, etc. 

not only am i starting to love what i see in the mirror but my self confidence has shot through the roof. i feel like that sassy little girl joey met in college is coming back...in a good way.  i don't think i realized how much of myself i lost in the weight that i gained, but as i lose it, i feel like i'm starting to figure out who i really am and who i want to be. i'm becoming the woman i want to be.

so yes, i'm 29 and feeling FINE! 28 was such a good year, a good good year. i will always look back at 28 and remember how great it was, it will be one of my favorite years. with that being said i welcome 29 with open arms and can't wait for what's in store. now that the changes are being made and the ball is rolling i'm excited to see what else is coming for me and my little family. i have this amazing little girl that reminds me everyday how blessed i am. she makes me want to be a better person every day. every. single. day. so i have her to thank for the majority of the changes i've made in my life. i want to be so much better for her. some may say that physical appearance isn't that big of a deal and we should all accept our shapes and sizes but i knew that i was unhappy, i knew i had a problem with food and i knew i needed to make a change or else i would continue to spiral out of control and continue being unhappy. i love my new body with the new scars and all. and there's something else i've realized through all of this: i am a strong woman! i encourage everyone else to be strong, it may be really hard and you may not know where to start but i promise, once you do you'll feel amazing. i speak from experience and can say little changes make big changes and when you look back at what those big changes have done for you, you realize you can do anything!

i am a strong woman and i can do anything. bring it on 29, i welcome you with open arms!

the reason why i do it....love her!